For many of us, attraction begins with aesthetics. We construe attraction as the result of visual observations. It’s not only ingrained in the typical human due to the underlying instinctual demand for finding the best suitable mate for procreation, but it is perpetuated in the public forum throughout visual mediums. In other words “being attracted to someone” almost always refers to whether they are capable of provoking a sexual response. In yet other words “I find that individual attractive” means “I could be aroused if I were to have intercourse with that person”. Unfortunately, this primitive compulsion has become the core decision maker for how we decide whether another person should be of interest or not when it comes to the possibility of developing a relationship or considering forms of intimacy that move beyond the platonic characteristics of friendship.
To transcend the restricted and primitive definition of attraction that so many of us adhere to, you will need to step out of the singular compulsions that the human demands and understand the broader, multifaceted nature of attraction. By inhabiting this information, you can redefine the meaning of attraction, trumping the limitations of narrow human understanding along the way. Also, the wisdom that will arrive with your re-definition will Illuminate the deeper aspects of your person and grant the insight necessary for you to finally see outside the restrictions of the flesh; a constraint that keeps you in ignorance until the vivid authority of good judgment finally shows you that attraction is much less linear than you’ve been led to believe.
Below are the facets of attraction: They expand the understanding of SoulKind so that you can comprehend the first facet (visual attraction) better while also recognizing what the others do. You’ll find that no single facet can monopolize your interpretation of attraction once you fully occupy what is taught here. Also, upon inhabiting this truth, you’ll naturally be cognizant of the beauty in how these varying facets support each other and balance out the deficiencies that just one facet may possess in your current relationship or in your consideration of a new one.
- Visual attraction
Visual attraction is the most primitive of the facets and the least evolved. It has its necessity obviously but in some humans its overwhelming power leaves a person with little ability to deduce a more advanced form of attraction. It can overwhelm the senses and, without proper instruction or interaction during upbringing, lead to a stunted impression of the opposite sex, deviant behavior, moral disregard, and ultimately a total degradation of the ability to reside in a healthy relationship.
Visual attraction is so strong and ingrained that men have received life sentences for just 2 minutes of copulation with a woman they violently forced themselves upon. Two minutes that included the entire disregard of another Soul’s suffering, the violent attack upon their vessel, the forced entry of their sexual organs, and a quick release of pleasure. For these two small minutes compulsive men have decided to trade their lives and freedom. That’s the power of attraction, ill-defined in society as only a singular element, acted upon by dark minds.
Even though there are concerning aspects that result from heightened visual attraction, the mechanism itself is still of consequence; it’s valuable. Visual attraction, or the lack thereof, is, in some cases, an influential initiator of relationships that are still capable of being healthy and lasting. For many, visual attraction was an ideal means of commencement into a relationship that evolved into greater depth after the evaluation phase. It can and does work well in that manner for many wise and healthy minded adults.
This is where visual attraction proves its significance. It is a valid constituent of magnetism, yet when you are Illuminated on the subject it will never be the sole evaluating method; such actions always lead to dissolution.
In saying the above it’s concluded that visual attraction arouses sexual impulses.
It must be noted that visual attraction is in no way wrong and this writing is not attempting to show you the “shallowness” of what it entails. Also, this is not an effort to make you force yourself to pay better attention to your options and consider pooling in more people who you find unattractive or even ugly. Just gather from this what you will, and in doing so develop a personalized understanding of the use of multiple components of attraction, despite how you may have arrived at considering a viable mate.
- Mental Attraction
This form of attraction arrives from your analysis of how someone interprets and interacts with their environment. Some of them are:
- Their deductive abilities
- Interaction and social skills
- Poetic expressions
- Argument and debate techniques
- Sarcasm or lack thereof
- Humor and wit
- Scholastic expressions
- Their verbal responses to stress or exasperation
- How they interact and respond to conflict
- Professional adeptness
- How they observe and view their environment
- How their words represent their outlook on life, view of themselves, you, and others
You are able to see and hear the many things they do that gravitate you toward them. This attraction doesn’t necessarily evoke an arousal in the physical sense, but again, that is just one form of desirability. With mental attraction, the words of a person you have become mentally attracted to can easily be a tonic against myriad personal struggles; their voice and words a beacon of recovery, serenity, change, comfort, respite, and reason.
When familiarity occurs and is experienced for a long enough period of time, the many personal afflictions you recover from are often a direct result of interaction with said person. As time progresses you know this in the subconscious way, resulting in an affinity for the person’s presence, their company, their advice, or just that they are present so you can experience their personality, turn of phrase, and curious means by which they interact with you and their environment. In other words, mental attraction arouses your mind.
The influence of this kind of arousal is substantial. It is mentally gratifying. You become attached to the person due to the impact of their personality and character traits. So instead of thinking like sleepwalkers do by saying “am I physically attracted to this person?” as if that’s the only valuable piece of the attraction componentry, you can begin to ask yourself multiple questions based upon your knowledge of the facets of attraction. In this case being “Am I aroused by their mind, their character, their personality?”.
In considering all facets of attraction instead of just one, your illuminated understanding of attraction will grant you a much better chance of success when seeking a long term mate. This is because you transcended the singular aspect of primitive arousal and have stepped into the multi-faceted observations that actually grant a higher probability of triumph.
- Observational attraction
This form of attraction arises from your observations of how your potential long-term mate treats you, others, and themselves. It is discovered in observances of how well they compromise in order to respect your boundaries, views, and eccentricities. It’s also discerned by noticing how they support you. Here are some questions:
-Do they lift you up, are proud of you, quick to provide deserved compliments with actions the denote kindness. Do they constructively criticize where necessary or do they demean, yell, say cruel things, only cater to their own needs and are quick to accuse?
-Do they have a fierce sense of protectiveness of you and display a strong sense of devotion even in trying times or are they quick to move to “he said she said” conversation while attempting to argue just to win instead of wanting to find the best mode of action?
-Are they stable or react negatively to anything that obstructs or impacts their own agenda?
-Do they find ways to take care of you in the most subtle ways, catering to your needs according to your own individual preferences, and making sure you feel wanted and cared for or do they care about themselves and constantly demand more of you while disregarding what you’ve already done?
-Do they support your desires and goals and embolden your valid decisions with words of encouragement or disregard them and seem unconcerned?
-Do they treat others with respect where necessary but stand up for themselves when needed? Are they kind to strangers, refrain from cruel statements, and display an overall sense of just behavior?
-Do they love you publically and are unabashed in their affinity for you in social situations, bolstering you esteem and credibility as a person, or are they quick to demean you or not consider you when they have others around?
-Do they consider your needs above their own?
-Are they constantly searching out new ways to know you better in order to further bolster the positive aspects of your relationship or do they rarely consider the intricacies and complexities of knowing you and navigating you appropriately?
-Do they give you the overall feeling of comfort that arrives from being the most important person in their life?
-Do they compromise when it’s called for without cynicism or spite?
-Do their actions instigate you to feel the joy of monogamy without the personal insecurity that can result in questions of infidelity or loss?
The strength of observational attraction is that it inspires sentimental arousal: A provocation of your sentiments, needs for nurturing, romantic inclinations, appreciation, and that ever comforting feeling of belonging to someone special and not being along. This type of arousal can easily ingrain itself in your psyche, making the other person seemingly indispensable; you can’t see yourself living without them. It forces you to admire them when they aren’t looking, and be in awe of how they interact with you and the world.
You’ll find that a good mate almost universally must possess observational traits or the relationship will again go back to visual attraction with nothing else in common but sexual interaction. If that’s the case, the relationship is always doomed to failure for obvious reasons.
If you recognize the value in furthering your understanding of observational attraction, you can supplement your observations without taking for granted what the other person does. This way, instead of randomly “catching” actions that endear you to them, you can go out of your way to note them and collect them while making sure to do your part by complimenting and supporting the behavior that you find so engaging. A positive consequence of this discovery process is that you will further your observational attraction to this person due to all the things discovered that you may have not picked up on earlier.
- Tactile attraction
Tactile attraction is a significantly potent facet because its value can be noticed immediately. It is so powerful that it can change the dynamics of a relationship in a moment. Tactile attraction is physical attraction but it is much more complex and vibrant than that of mere visual attraction. It is packed with stimulus and has, on many occasions, disrupted the singular primitive aspect of visual attraction by the sheer force of its sensory elements. In other words, visual attraction and its illusions can be shattered under the hammer-blow of tactile expression.
Tactile attraction can change relationships so well because it stimulates honest, unprejudiced arousal. It is a shutting of the eyes and the opening of the senses. It demands attention and forces responses to the input the receiver is experiencing. Also, tactile attraction has the innate ability to change a lover’s impression of their mate’s imperfections in its own way. This happens because, when understood well, it requires you to experience the other person instead of observing them. It allows you to discover your sensory attractions which have little to do with the visual form and revolves around impulses, eroticism, stimuli, light and heavy touch, the proper use of erogenous zones and the understanding of their magnitude.
This facet of attraction isn’t confined to the romantic, sexual, or intimate elements at all. It grows in the soil of passive behavior and daily interactions as well. The playing with of hair, the light stroking of an arm, hand on the small of a back, the lightest placement of lips on neglected exposed flesh, strong foot rubs, an ear to a beating heart, the holding of hands in varying locations, and, for some, at appropriate times, bites, slaps, and more feral behavior. Even the most passive touches begin to arouse the senses as memories of past events build.
Touch from your mate is a balm to the rigors of life…it is the analgesic that soothes away the pains of daily activity. It tells you that you are not alone, you are found, you belong somewhere and to someone, that you are cared for, that you are wanted and that the giver is catering to the needs of your body and mind through a means that doesn’t require anything but the most basic action: Communication through flesh.
The beauty of tactile attraction is its layers. It embeds itself so well into the intricacies of experience. One little touch by a mate on a normal day and the mind can disappear inside a labyrinth of future intimate events, erotic daydreams, memories of past situations, and even just the simple feeling that you are loved. It can substantiate relationships, anchoring two people together in a dance of intimacy of such amazing variance and profundity that the removal of an eyelash can be more poignant than the prior night’s sexual marathon.
Tactile attraction, along with observational and mental attraction, can easily build, in unison, to such importance for a couple that they supersede prior observances of flaws. They can do this to the point that the object actually transforms into something beautiful, needed, and, most of all, an entity of such strong desire that you just cannot live without them.
- Spiritual attraction
Perhaps obviously, the most important form of attraction for any Godly being is spiritual attraction. This variety of attraction arouses the Soul.
You’ll know, while guided by the spirit, that your mate is spiritually attractive because their actions will connote whether they are Soulfully inclined beings; something necessary for the long term or else you’ll be unequally yoked and primed for failure.
A spiritually attractive mate displays their wisdom without having to bring attention to it; they live it. It shows in so many ways. Here are just a few:
- Their actions towards others
- Their authenticity
- Their grace during adversity
- Their gentility
- Their inability to bend when faced when injustice
- Their demand for progress
- Their overwhelming and amazing ability to love
- Their thorough dedication to the qualities compromise in relationships
- Their ability to admit when they are wrong
- Their unwavering commitment to contributing to society in their own unique way
Your attraction to them on a spiritual level arrives through your Soul as it gravitates toward a similar being who offers more than they want to take. Their Soul is notably beautiful and you find yourself affected by their own unique expressions of Godliness. In addition, the chief component of spiritual attraction is that it includes God. Being under God while experiencing spiritual attraction, along with the other forms of attraction, demands that you heed to certain protocols which remove the chaos that comes from standard human relationships.
The code of behavior that appears along with spiritual attraction necessitates an understanding of the broad implications of respect and dignity. These factors are in place for the Illuminated to utilize in order to fully flourish as a couple. They keep the flesh accountable and the self-respect of each individual intact while also providing a structure that inspires a sense of progressive adventure.
Without spiritual guidelines, all the mysteries of physical, mental, and spiritual discovery are just unboxed all at once, thrown out into the open, and consumed voraciously, leaving the gluttonous individuals with nothing left to experience. It also takes you off the path of step-by-step discovery and the slow building up that indirectly forms integration, awareness, the learning of each other, the best means of progressing in love, etc. In other words, following the moral structure of the spirit is the way we were DESIGNED to do it, and in doing so, all the pieces necessary for the consideration of a union will have been exposed and absorbed.
In summary, the primitive means by which attraction is normally defined disembodies us from the intricacies of its full meaning. Attraction is visual, yes, but just a percentage of the overall aggregation of forms that it consists of. To focus just on the visual part is to, in ignorance, disregard all the other elements that are as equally essential. Also, all of these elements are emotional indicators, therefore, as an assemblage, fulfill the importance of overall emotional attraction as well; an important form in itself which will be covered in another writing.
The inhabiting of all forms of attraction, in consequence, broadens the demographic of individuals that are compatible with you. The use of these forms increases your perspective regarding who may be most suitable. By comparison to a singular form it’s easy to see how multi-faceted attraction increases the odds of finding the right person exponentially. Such an expanded form of awareness affects every aspect of your life, decreasing chances of hardship, regret, and uninformed decision.
Using all the constituents that consist of attraction is an Illuminated practice, and will provide an authentic and accurate evaluation of who a potential mate should or shouldn’t be. In turn, our inhabiting of this actual definition of attraction will further us along the path of wisdom and ever closer to our loving Designer.
