In American society there seems to be a prevailing problem with compliments. It’s seemingly become customary to respond to such courtesies with varying remarks of disarmament and self effacing statements. Such as:
- It’s no big deal
- Oh no I’m not
- Believe me, that’s just not true
- Oh I don’t mind
- No I’m not
The dilemma with any attempts to avert compliments is that we are not only disrespecting the purveyor by denying their gift, we are also indirectly diminishing the truth that they’ve observed. Verbal diminishment of valid gifts infects the psyche and manifests itself in the form of a negative self image and other debilitating behaviors that have no bearing on reality. When we are complimented for our actions, behavior, or aesthetic qualities the response should be a firm and appreciative thank you uncorrupted by adjoining negative responses.
A simple thank you flanked by good eye contact and an accommodating demeanor is, in itself, a return on the gift that was given to you. Also, internally, the thank you is an estimable means of internally validating the compliment and taking ownership of what it entails. Humility is a valuable trait but not when it is garbed in false pretense or an off-handed remark that fails to display it. In other words, humility is a component of wisdom that reflects your actions naturally. To disregard compliments is NOT a display of humility but a false construct, even with good intentions, that negatively impacts both parties involved.
Another consideration is that when YOU are the transmitter of the compliments; learn how to not allow the receiver to easily disregard your gift. In this way you can teach others that acceptance of compliments is a beneficial and respectful trait. You just simply follow any statement they make with a simple statement like, “so is that a thank you?” Depending on your presentation skills this tends to go over well while also creating an interrupt to their pattern because most people have never dealt with such a valid question.
Compliments are wonderful adornments to daily routine and create remarkable positive results when expressed candidly and with truth. They should always be utilized honestly and never thrown out as a haphazard nicety. Cheap sentiments and shallow compliments are picked up on by others and soon lead to mistrust in the compliments you dole out. Due to this, it’s always best to reserve your compliments for moments that demand their truth, expressing them with depth and candor, devoid of flagrant misuse.
In my travels, I’ve noticed that in Europe people are more often inclined to just say thank you and accept the compliments provided them. This in some way seems to be a result of a clearer understanding and willingness to acknowledge the compliment given. In America it would be of benefit to us in our social endeavors to do the same. In doing so, we acknowledge the compliments given us, in turn respecting the purveyor of the accolade, and finally, we allow more positivity in our lives by denying the routine negative statements that once encircled us. This is just another positive action that can be implemented now in order to amplify Illumination and a heightened experience of the joy of living in this magnificent world.
